It really does feel like my heart’s been ripped out. I hate myself for insisting on taking her to the vet Sunday. I wish I could have spent more time with her, but I don’t want to have drawn out her suffering because I didn’t want to let her go. I’m terrified she died confused and thinking we didn’t want her anymore because she was sick. I hate the vet for not actually helping her. How fucked up is it that you take your pet to these people for help and they decide killing them is the best option?

I miss fighting her for space on my keyboard.